just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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