she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize