it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
