How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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