OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
