you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
