Can Purell be used as lube?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
