I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
