D3 body, D1 cock
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
