found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
