How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
