If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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