I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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