Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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