let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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