saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
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