Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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