i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
