At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
