absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
