We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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