I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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