I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
