he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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