Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
