Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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