six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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