Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
