Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Watching her eat just hurts me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
