you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize