worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
