try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
