I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
