wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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