glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize