meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
