My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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