oh god the rape fog is back!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
