Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
