nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
