ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
