I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
