You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Is it penis luge time yet?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
