i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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