Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
