I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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