Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
