I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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