last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well I just put wine in my tea
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
