By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize