you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
