just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
