omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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