did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
