Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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