She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
