having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We had sex on a dog bed..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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